If Part 1 of this series was all about creating strong routines for good days, Part 2 is for the other side of things—those not-so-good days when it feels like everything is a bit heavier, harder, or just off.

We all have them. And while it’s easy to fall into self-blame when you’re struggling (“Why can’t I just shake this off?”), the truth is that difficult days are a normal part of being human. Even therapists have them.

Today, we’re talking about how to care for yourself on the hard days—with compassion, realism, and evidence-based tools that can help you navigate the low points a little more gently.

Start with Self-Compassion

When you’re already feeling low, self-criticism can sneak in fast. You might think, I should be coping better than this. But the research on self-compassion, pioneered by psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, shows that responding to your suffering with kindness instead of judgment actually improves emotional resilience.

So before you do anything else, pause and remind yourself:

“I’m having a hard day. That doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m human.”

If you’re not sure how to be kind to yourself, try this: imagine what you’d say to a friend who was feeling like you are right now. Then say those same words—to yourself.

It might feel awkward at first, but self-kindness has been shown to reduce cortisol (the stress hormone) and increase emotional regulation. It’s one of the simplest, most powerful coping tools you can learn.

Normalize What’s Happening

Bad days can come from all sorts of things—sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, grief, chronic stress, illness, poor nutrition, or even weather changes. Sometimes there’s an obvious reason. Other times, there’s not.

That uncertainty can make us anxious, but naming what’s happening can help. Try telling yourself:

“Something’s off today. I don’t know why, but I need to take care of myself.”

This is part of emotional regulation—acknowledging your internal state without judging it or needing to fix it right away.

Triage Your Needs

Not all “bad days” are equal. Some are just emotionally rough. Others might signal that you’re unsafe or unwell. Psychotherapists often talk about “triaging” your mental health—checking your basic needs first:

• Am I safe right now?
• Have I eaten something nourishing today?
• Have I slept or rested?
• Am I hydrated?
• Am I taking my medication as prescribed?

If you’re not safe or are having thoughts of harming yourself, that’s not a bad day—it’s a crisis. Reach out for help: go to your nearest hospital, call 2-1-1 to reach a crisis line, or call 9-1-1 for immediate support.

If your basic needs are met, then it’s time to move into the next layer of coping.

Use the Tools That Fit the Moment

Coping strategies aren’t one-size-fits-all, and on a bad day, your capacity will be different. Think of it like adjusting your expectations. You don’t need to run a marathon—you just need to take the next right step.

Some evidence-based tools that might help:

• Grounding techniques — like naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear. This helps calm the nervous system and reorient you to the present.
• Movement — not necessarily exercise, but gentle motion. Walk around the block. Stretch. Step outside for fresh air. Research shows that even mild movement releases endorphins that support emotional balance.
• Connection — text a friend, sit beside someone you trust, or even talk to a pet. Human connection releases oxytocin, which naturally soothes emotional distress.
• Reduce stimulation — if you’re anxious or overwhelmed, limit sensory input. Lower the lights, mute notifications, breathe.
• Mindful distraction — sometimes the best thing you can do is shift focus: fold laundry, do a puzzle, or watch a comfort show. It’s not avoidance—it’s giving your nervous system time to settle before problem-solving.

Learning from Feedback

Another helpful insight? Pay attention to how the people around you respond. If loved ones seem startled, withdrawn, or worried, it may be a cue that your emotions are overflowing—and it’s time to check in with yourself.

Anger, sadness, irritability, anxiety—they’re all signals, not failures. They tell you something in your internal system needs care.

When to Reset

Sometimes, bad days turn into bad weeks. If you notice that your low mood, anxiety, or lack of motivation is lasting more than two weeks, or significantly affecting sleep, appetite, or work, it might be time to reach out for professional support.

Therapy isn’t just for crisis—it’s a place to learn how to recover faster from the hard days and build resilience over time.

Know when to use it

Part of having a “mental health toolbox” is knowing which tools work for which situations. On good days, you build routines that strengthen your wellbeing. On bad days, you use coping skills that keep you afloat.

It’s not about eliminating the hard moments—it’s about knowing how to meet them with steadiness and compassion.

______________________________________________

If you are in crisis, please call 2-1-1 to speak to someone, or call 9-1-1 if you are in danger of immediate harm.

If you need help planning for bad days, or to debrief an event, our team is here to help. You can book an appointment using https://resetbarrie.janeapp.com

This post is a companion to our podcast, Beyond the Session, which you can find on Spotify or YouTube. This episode features Lindsay Tsang, Registered Psychotherapist and Kathleen Tsang, Registered Social Worker at Reset Counselling & Psychotherapy in Barrie.